A tale of two sisters

Does my bum look big in this? (Answer - Yes)

Surveying the Queendom

Yes? Can I help you?

I started out in life with just one sister, now through a cruel twist of fate (aka my mother's sense of humour), I have two. One is hairy with pointy ears, a wet nose and a propensity for self-serving indulgent behaviour; the other is less hirsute and considerably more fragrant.

I became aware that something was up in the sibling pecking order when my mum started referring to me as her number 2 daughter. That's fine I thought - I am the youngest and came second in the sibling timeline. There's probably no need to put it in writing on cards though but whatever. However things darkened when I visited home and she started ordering me to take care of my 'little sister'. My what?? Thoughts of parental betrayal at hiding a younger sibling from me for all these years flashed through my mind.  Before I'd gnashed away my teeth it became clear that my new 'little sister' was none other than the devious hairy hound (mentioned previously here). Quite how this one-trick, mousey breathed, flea-bitten doglet had managed to worm it's way into my mum's affections was beyond me.


Nonetheless my visit was punctuated by filling up water bowls, serving it's special diet on a gilded platter, playing ball (and having my hand snapped at when we both went for it at the same time) and having to give up the best seat near the fire...


What I'm now wondering is which one of my sisters is the number 1 daughter? I think I'll leave it for them to fight it out though.


Do you have a problem with sibling rivalry? 

10 brave things I will do one day (maybe)...

All of the below make me fearful just thinking about them:


1) Eat a piece of stinky French cheese (it's stinky for a reason, because it's full of mould! Yet the French go mad for it. I must be missing something.)


2) Initiate conversation with a stranger at a party (I'm not good at small talk so this seems near impossible, but perhaps its a social skill I should have learnt by now)


3) Sing in public (I find it hard enough to talk in public, but the thought of singing in front of people is enough to bring me out in a cold sweat. But maybe it would be really good fun?)


4) Audition for a play (ditto above)


5) Learn to dive underwater (it's so unnatural to trust something you carry on your back for oxygen. I've seen the Abyss, I know the dangers. But it must be so amazing down there and I love looking at fish)


6) Walk across the Sydney Harbour Bridge (I'm sure the views are magnificent but I probably wouldn't be able to look down anyway)


7) Abseil down something tall (this would have to be as a result of an emergency scenario with abseiling being the only way out)


8) Journey overseas on my own (I've flown a few times now but I still get lost in airport departure lounges and I don't like the thought of being in a plane without Dr X as he obviously has magical properties which keep the plane in the air no matter what.)


9) Wild camp in the Rainforest (I love the thought of being close to nature, seeing the amazing birds and butterflies, but the thought of poisonous creatures sharing my sleeping bag would keep me awake all night)


10) Go on a roller-coaster ride again (I did this once as a teenager and was so scared I started screaming 'let me off, let me off!'. Now when we go to adventure parks I have to wait while others go and have fun. Is it worth trying again?)

A brief interlude

Apologies for the tardiness in blogging. I had the week off work last week to spend with my mum and we spent lazy days walking on the beach, eating cake, visiting the local shops, eating cake (did I mention that already?) and visiting our local gardens, Compton Acres. I didn't take many photos on the actual day as I'd forgotten to charge my camera, but have included the ones above from a previous visit I did in the summer of 2008. Much nicer to see the garden in full bloom.  We were surprised to see so many people out and about on our travels, but I guess the holiday season is never over when you live in a seaside resort location. Back to the grind tomorrow though xx

The 7 Ages of Potato

Photo by anankkml

Whilst eating a yummy mash & black cabbage dish that Dr X whipped up, I got to thinking about all the different ways you can eat potatoes (so versatile!) and how they can almost represent a different stage of life. So without further ado, I present to you, my 7 ages of potato:


1) Mash -  Baby

2) Chips -  Child

3) Croquettes / French fries -  Teenager

4) Jacket -  Student 

5) Gratin Dauphinois -  30's & 40's

6) Roast potatoes -  Mum & Dad

7) Mash - Grandparents

Which potato are you at?

Cheesy jokes

Photo by Stuart Miles

Q. How many immature people does it take to change a lightbulb? 
A. Your mum.


My Bon Jovi Sat-Nav has just started working - we're half way there.


It must suck to be a vacuum cleaner.


We tried to perform a 'Knock knock' joke, but you weren't in. Please collect the punchline from our depot from 7am - 3pm, Monday - Thursday.


I applied for a Poetic License. Turns out they made it sound better than it actually is.


All thanks (or not, depending on your taste in jokes) to James Martin@Pundamentalism