The blame game

If you look closely enough you can always find something to pin the blame on!

I have issues with taking responsibility for things when they go wrong. This is due to a few  reasons a) I fear authority & being told off,  b) I'm a lilly livered, conniving coward and c) it makes me feel better to put the blame on someone / something else. Give me any situation where I've caused a problem or broken something and I will inevitably come up with a plausible (ahem) story to pin the blame elsewhere. It's like paying it forward but without the altruism bit...  I'll give you some examples:


Example 1 -   I swear that the Beach Boys are the cause of my dismal GCSE results. Instead of revising I spent many hours re-playing their tracks in my room, learning the words and lip syncing along. I can't listen to them now without shuddering in horror at the colossal waste of time they caused me. If it weren't for their songs I'm sure I would have some A grades in my academic portfolio.


Example 2 - After doing poorly in my GCSEs I went on to do worse in my A Levels  (you'd think I'd have learnt my lesson). During an interview for a place at university I told the interviewer that the reason I did so badly was because this new girl had joined the sixth form of my school, proceeding to lead me astray and my academic work had suffered as a result (you know who you are missy!!). No I didn't get offered a place at that uni.


Example 3 - I'm always breaking stuff, usually glasses or plates when I'm washing the dishes, but also other random household items. Most things I touch seem to fall apart like they've been cursed or something. It's totally not my fault. For the dishes I will blame the washing up gloves (they don't grip properly) or the size of the sink (it's too small / too big) or the temperature of the water (it's too hot / cold). For the other stuff I will try to pin the blame on the manufacturer (shoddy workmanship) or any pervious owners / users (they must have weakened / damaged the item and left it for me to use!)


Example 4 - Failing my driving test. My instructor was male. End of story.


There are many more examples and I can't actually remember the last time I took responsibility for my actions. Is this a serious problem? Do I need help? Does anyone else do this? 


p.s. I hope Santa's not reading this...
p.p.s or Dr X.