Tuesday, 25 October 2011

You have no new comments

Because no one is reading your blog. In fact you shouldn't be reading your own blog, because:

a) this is sad
b) you are meant to be working right now
and c) did I mention this was sad??

To make up for this sadness, here is a nice picture of a happy little hermit crab in his stolen shell:

ho hum, what's for dinner tonight?

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

11 reasons why Dr X is so great!

1) He takes really great photos which I use on my blog (and pretend are mine)
2) He's the 2nd best cook in the world
3) His mum is the best cook in the world and always makes me a perfect gratin when I visit
4) He gives me lifts everywhere without complaining
5) He provides interest free loans with a long-term payment plan (ha ha  he'll never see his money again)
6) He helps out around the house (ok, more than helps out)
7) He sorts out my Excel / Word / PowerPoint problems
8) He knows how to convert Euros into pounds and doesn't mind explaining it to me again, and again and again
9) He fixes stuff I break, cleans my shoes, sews up rips on my clothes, puts buttons back on etc
10) He watches romantic movies with me without complaining (although he does sometimes fall asleep)
11) He never gets cross even when I break his stuff or call him names or wash his USB key by mistake (he did leave it in the pocket of his jeans...)

What a great chap! I started trying to put together a list for him about me but got stuck for inspiration. Does making tea for someone when they don't want it count??

Twilight - a beautiful love story?

The Swiss Cows were horrified to learn that Twilight wasn't a beautiful love story about vegetarians after all.  The bookseller had mis-sold the series to Mama Cow and now he would pay...

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Dear Me

Just wanted to say a big WELL DONE YOU for riding your bike to work today. So what if you were a little slow and got off to push up the hills, it's the effort that counts. Perhaps it wasn't wise to try and face off a truck on the roundabout, but you showed him who was boss. And you are right, pedestrians are stupid and will step out into the road without remembering to use their green cross code training. Good job you were going so slow else there would have been some serious injuries. Next time you could try ringing your bell instead of yelling, but that's your choice.

It would be nice if the town could invest in cycle lanes so that they don't abruptly end in the middle of busy roads. Sure, some people do have the middle of W____ Avenue as their final destination, but others want to go all the way through it. 

Cars probably were surprised by you swerving into the road to avoid riding over the prickly conkers, but hey tyre protection has to come first. Perhaps you'll remember to use some arm signals tomorrow when turning into a new road and maybe you could try riding up the first bit of the hill, just to build up some stamina. But don't sweat it too much, Dr X will be back soon to give you a lift again. 

Monday, 17 October 2011

Squirrels in the mist...

As I am now living 'out in the sticks' I'm going to take full advantage of  this to get closer to the local wildlife. It's autumn at last so there has been a lot of squirrel activity out in the communal gardens. These much maligned 'rats with big tails' are prolific, yet very shy and have a knack of knowing when you are about to photograph them. Nonetheless I have used my patience and guile to track some down for you. 

Note to any TV Execs reading this -  I am available for BBC Wildlife shows if Sir David is busy with other stuff.

My Squirrel hideout

Squirrels are masters of disguise

A 'look out' squirrel pops out before the day begins to check for danger

In the trees, in the bushes, these shy creatures lurk looking for unsuspecting nuts...

A flock of wild Dorset pigeons were alarmed by my clumsy entrance onto the 'hideout' and took to the skies

Oh squirrels in the mist, one day I will be your trusted friend.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

The start of a new year

Apologies to my loyal bog reader (yes, that's the singular being used on purpose) for taking soooo long in getting back to blog land. I truly thought I would have been up and running before now, but actually moving from a house to a flat and learning to live in a new place is more tiring than I thought it would be. I've actually had no energy to use the internet much or even read other peoples' blogs, let alone get going on mine. But today I started to feel the old blogging energy coming back which is great.

For those of us who work in an educational environment we know that the autumn term is really the start of a new year. This is when new initiatives get set up, the emails go crazy, everyone wants a piece of you for their new strategies etc. But then 'freshers flu' kicks in and everything goes quiet while people email in sick from home with their kleenexes and cough sweets piling up. I've got the flu bug now but I was expecting it (it's as regular as the wasps in summer time) and it's actually quite nice to be at home sick (when it's not life threatening). You have a really good reason to loll about in bed and read books whilst dropping cookie crumbs everywhere. Life is sweet (if snotty).

Happy New Year to you xxx

Dear Jacket Potatoes...

Thank you for spoiling my evening and failing me when I needed you most. You are my signature autumn dish and are meant to be easy to cook (so easy a 5 year old with a fear of ovens could manage you) and taste delicious with minimum effort.

Instead  of tasting autumnyish on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside you decided to blacken your skins, whilst remaining stubbornly cold and hard in the middle. Was 1 hour in the oven not enough for you? Did you not appreciate the fact that I pierced your skin lovingly with a fork and rubbed you with oil and salt?? No, please don't blame the oven. It was not on too high. Ok, so I forgot to wrap you in tin foil, but other potatoes manage to make it through without making such a fuss. Using the microwave just isn't the same and Dr X would not consider this to be 'cooking his dinner'.

You have possibly ruined my marriage. I am seeking legal advice.

Rant over.